“It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all”-LIAR!

Whoever first stated that was on something serious.

I mean really, they must have never really lost someone who they truly loved.

I mean how would you explain these headlines…

Man upset over breakup with girlfriend, shoots 2 people in back of head

Heartbroken man chatting with ex-girlfriend on computer focuses Web cam on tree, hangs himself

Man fakes murder-for-hire plot after stripper dumps him

Man Stabs Wife to Death, Dumps Body in Front of Cars

Man murders wife over Facebook entry

Chicago, IL: Man upset over breakup charged in deadly rampage

These are but a few examples of the extreme results of dealing with a broken heart.  But in those examples, we see that whomever stated, it was better to have loved and ……….,yeah, yeah, yeah, is truly a LIAR!

It is true that being in love is wonderful and the emotional high that comes with it, well nothing can compare.  However, to lose that love results in indescribable pain that lasts a lifetime.  I’ve been in love, ONCE.  Losing that love hurt something terrible.  But I think it is something that we all are familiar with, directly or indirectly.  Yet when it happens, we feel as though we are the only person in the world to feel pain quite like this. Regardless if you are a man or a woman, the cycle of grief must run its course!

I remember when I was on my course and a friend of mine told me that I had to go through the entire cycle as she asked me which stage I was in.  I remember telling her I didn’t know what she was talking about as I began charging $3000 dollars worth of music on his credit cards, sending him 50 text messages after assuming something must be wrong with his phone since he hadn’t responded.   I finally asked her what stage WAS I in and how long it would take to go through them?!  Obviously, I was between denial and the anger-resentment phase.  Ok, so what are the stages?

The 5 Stages of Grief:

Denial, Anger-Resentment, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

Denial: This is the stage where you are truly in dis-belief.  You can not come to terms that you have been dumped and you misinterpret the breakup and assume he/she didn’t really mean it.  You wait by the phone for them to call back and say Psych or they didn’t really mean it.

Anger-Resentment: This is the stage were you are truly pissed the hell off.  You think of all the things you dd for your partner and ask, “How dare he/she?”.  How dare they cause you so much pain and do this to you?

Bargaining: This is my favorite stage.  Here you try to negotiate.  You offer up almost anything for them to change their mind. “If I do this, will you take me back?”  What do I have to do to change your mind?

Depression: You come to terms with the fact that they really don’t want your ass and they probably “just isn’t into you”.  You doubt your worth and question whether or not you were ever really worthy of that person.  You begin contemplating on al the things you did wrong and justifying his not wanting you by identifying all of your imperfections.

Acceptance: You may not be over it all together but understand that “itiswhatitiz” and you deal with it.  You accept the fact that you are single and are ok with it.  You finally begin caring for yourself again and some even re-connect with their own spirituality and overall health.

Break-ups are no easy thing and if you think they are, well, you have never really been in love and been kicked to the curb.  Me personally am finally in the acceptance stage, but a little scorned.  Not anxious to jump back into the “love” thing anytime soon, for I don’t believe that it was “better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”!  It would have been better for me to run when I had the chance!

So to all who are in love, enjoy it while you can.  For those who are not, be thankful.  For the Bible says:

1 Corinthians 7:8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.

AMEN 2 THAT!